Sometimes people ask me.
How are you fearless?
The truth is I see the shadows in the darkness,
I feel the heaviness of truths that come together and bind us.
I feel the biting pains of snakes biting my ankles,
Filling them with a lead weight poison that makes it painful.
My lashes start to string beaded teardrops across their perimeters,
They're about to fall when I clench my jaw hard enough to grind my teeth like gears.
I snap to attention, walk to the center of the stage,
Expressionless faces look back at me, trapping me in a hollow cage.
Yet, I square my shoulders and pull back that slick ponytail,
My speech may not have as many facts, but my compassion will not fail.
My voice across rocks, like the pounding of the tidal surf,
You can't help but listen to me and know what you are truly worth.
I pride myself on the resonation of my declarations reverberating in your soul,
Because even if when I grow older, I am poor and defenseless, the gold I get from this can never be sold.
Following has never be my forte,
I have big feet for a girl, what can I say.
So when others expect me to fit into someone else's feet,
I say, "sorry sweetheart, but these don't fit me".
You see, I wasn't made to be that way,
I only see in a sunrise that the light pushes away the darkness at bay.
I've been diagnosed with dyscalculia, a mortifying truth,
Calculation, analyzation, critical thinking in my mind is that without cooth.
My words may be sweet, my math may be bitter,
Yet, I am as strong as an ox that doesn't need a lead sitter.
I am the leader, I don't even give a damn if I have a pack,
Would it be nice, of course, but I won't let up on slack.
My standards are firm, my judgment may sometimes be harsh,
But I won't apologize, I won't stand down, because I don't stop once I start.
I have reasons for everything I think, say, and do; yeah sometimes their impulsive.
Yet, I find that life is impulsive and those that try to solve it are repulsive.
I'm not a good or bad person, I'm just alright.
But when the moon comes out to greet the dying sun.
I'll be there, watching.
To let my soul dance among the starlight.